Reclaiming My Light in an Age of Division

For most of my life’s work, and certainly for the years leading up to where I stand today in my work with men, my purpose has been clear.

My work in the world has been to support men coming to consciousness so they are not unconsciously used to perpetuate a toxic state of masculinity that harms themselves, their families, their communities, and our beautiful planet.

In an age of radicalization and polarization, in an age of taking sides, tribal politics, and identity politics, I have taken great care not to engage that force. I have worked to cultivate spaces within the Embodied Masculine community where men could step out of that current of noise. Spaces where men could find reprieve. Where they could reconnect to a deeper sense of themselves, their hearts and the truth that is communicated from within. Where they could remember who they are beneath the noise of the world.

For seven years, I have held that commitment with deep clarity.

Until very recently.

A few weeks ago, something happened that shook me to my core, it hit personal. Forty thousand Iranian lives, men, women, and children, were taken in a way that I experienced as unconscionable, callous, inhumane and horrific. It struck me in a place that bypassed all the careful boundaries I had created around the principle of not merging with that force that feeds on our division.

What I witnessed felt like the apex of the very expression of the energy within masculinity that I have dedicated my life to transforming.

And its injustice and infliction on the people of the land I was born in pulled me in.

For the past few weeks, I have found myself consumed by it. I became obsessed with the question of how to give voice to the voiceless Iranian people. How to speak about the injustice. How to confront what felt unbearable to witness.  My social platform changed, advocacy became paramount and I became obseesed from morning till night around wheater anyone would help my people.  I felt powerless and slowly it drained me.  I woke to the news, and slept to news.

On the surface, this desire may appear altruistic and human.

But the truth is, it had a consequence I could not initially see.

It rendered me powerless, it drained and drank my life force and the work I am entrusted in doing here.

My attention, my focus, my energy began to orbit around outrage and injustice in a way that slowly disconnected me from my center, my power. My health in three weeks deteriated, depression and lethargy set it.  I could no longer hold the well being and the container of my community.  I am so grateful for the EM leadership team who stood up while I slid into helplessness and darkness. And today I can see it clearly.

There is a force that benefits from this.

A force that feeds on our division.

A force that pins family members against each other, friends against each other, colleagues against each other. A force that radicalizes society and fractures our capacity to stay connected to ourselves and to one another.

This force thrives on our rage. It feeds on our attention, it robs us of our attention. It multiplies when we unconsciously become instruments of its momentum.

Today I see how easily any of us can be pulled into that current, even when our intentions are rooted in care, justice, or compassion.

And today I reclaim my agency.

Today I take back my autonomy and my power.

This is not naiveté. It is not me putting my head in the sand and pretending the world is not turning through painful and complex times.  As a matter of fact I can see the darkness and awaken to the truth that in such times, it is protecting our inner light that gives hope to the world.

It is a conscious decision not to become another node in the machinery of division, polarization and division.

The work I am here to do is not to amplify hatred or deepen division. The work I am here to do is to help men wake up to themselves, to their light, to their purpose so they are not unconsciously used by those very forces.

Because unconscious men are easily weaponized.

Conscious men are far harder to manipulate.

A man who knows himself cannot be easily radicalized. A man who is connected to his body, his breath, his conscience, and his heart does not become fuel for systems that thrive on rage and division.

This is the work.

And today, I recommit to it.

Not from a place of withdrawal from the world, but from a place of deeper responsibility to it.

The world does not need more men who are inflamed by the chaos and noise. 

It needs more men who can stand in the fire without becoming consumed by it.

Men who can remain grounded while the winds of ideology and outrage sweep through society.

Men who can hold their humanity when the world is trying to fracture it.

So today I double down on the work I am called to do.

I return to the practice of holding the light within myself as primary, protecting that quiet inner flame and wielding discernment on how my energy is spent and directed.  I’ll walk the path I’ve been called to walk.  I’m reminded of the words of the Jewish carpenter who said, “Be in the world but not of it” I’ll answer that call and tend my post, in helping men awaken to that light within that guides, comforts and leads us on this journey of life.  That helps us heal ourselves and stand in that newly found power in contributing to bringing people together not tearing them apart.   

And if this speaks to something inside of you, I invite you to join me.

Not in taking sides.

But in becoming the kind of men and women who cannot be easily turned against one another.

The kind of men and women whose consciousness itself becomes a form of resistance to the forces that profit from our division.

This is the tenet of our community at Embodied Masculine.

And it matters now more than ever.