Performative feminine expression only feeds palpable patriarchal norms and perpetuates internalized misogyny.
Expression of the “femininity” as seen and defined through the prism of what engages “him” or calls him forward only suppresses the truest essence of what may lurk below. This contributes to unconsciously internalized misogyny.
What lurks below may be dark, bloody, and rageful in its expression in addition to erotic (Eros) and sensual. The masculine, deeply rooted and tethered to consciousness and a deep sense of self, grounded to his breath and the earth, will hold and witness all of her expression and will be moved to a deeper state of awe and reverence, thus making the exchange sacred. Unable to hold this, he will collapse and blame her. Male arousal as an end game is a patriarchal construct, feeding only one side or one aspect of this exchange, when performative. It also steals the essence of what makes such expressions and exchanges truly sacred.
Deeply rooted as the Oak, he will say “Yes” and be a safe harbor and container for her freedom and all her expressions, not just the ones that make him feel good.
Holding witness to all her manifestations as they are expressed through her body. These are sometimes her pains, the pains within the collective unconscious, and the pains held in the fibers of a hurting planet that she is processing, expressing, and working with through her body. To behold such work is humbling and awe-inspiring, alas many men take it as a personal assault and want to tame her, control her, and subjugate her in various ways instead of looking within and realizing their inability to hold such power.
Therefore, It is not about her surrender, but rather her FREEDOM, her freedom of expression that creates a sacred exchange.
We’re not speaking of feminine expression from an unconscious or unprocessed shadow state which is also “toxic”, detrimental, and sometimes violent. We have to decipher between the two. What we are discussing here is a paradigm shift in how we hold feminine energy, within and without. If you deny your own pain, you will not be able to hold hers.
We are speaking about deepening one’s capacity to be able to hold all her expressions without collapsing or pigeonholing her to those expressions that only make us feel good.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.