Young men are being raised in a society that does not support their well being. From porn culture being the template for intimacy to apathy in engaging with life and various forms of numbing or addiction (substances, video games, screens.. etc.) they are losing their connection to themselves, their families and what it means to be a man in today's society.
This four day, three night initiation retreat is designed to interrupt these patterns and empower teens in living more fulfilling lives. It is also designed to create true connection and healing between fathers and sons.
The Wound
As teens their sense of self is either mired in grandiosity or low self esteem. A way in bringing them back is getting them in touch with their pain. Major paths of spirituality point to what we do with or through our pain can open space for connection and clarity. Our first goal is to work with these young men in identifying their pains and give them tools in being able to sit with, express freely and embodying their pain while being witnessed and loved in a safe container. We work with them in moving unprocessed charges associated with their pains, until it becomes clear what the pain is there to teach them. As Rumi wrote, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you".
It's Not About You!
Once he has made contact with his wound, it is the natural progression that through his empathy he realizes he is not the center of his Universe. It dawns upon him that his wisdom is limited and that a bigger force is at play in bringing him to this point of spiritual transformation. Most young men come from a culture where they are raised believing in their "specialness". They chase this throughout their lives, never really being fulfilled in their pursuits. They are taught as we all are that happiness resides outside of you. “Buy this and you will be happy”, "Act this way and you'll be accepted or desired" When a young man gets in touch with his pain and is suddenly not the center of his own Universe, he is actually creating enough space for what’s truly important to shine through. As Richard Rhor, an expert in the field of male initiation explains, “Once you know that your life is not about you, then you can also trust that your life is your message.” Yes, even at this young age, young men can get in touch with their sense of purpose. Even if it a subtle seed in his consciousness, it will eventually unfurl and blossom. Young men start to get in touch with that subtle voice or flame that resides in all of us. They begin to distinguish between the chattering mind and this flame at the heart center.
A New Community
This step immediately puts young men on "the path". As they build this relationship with their higher selves they also meet other young men who they’ve shared this experience with. New lifelong friend and a community can start from this point. The type of person a young adult hangs out with will deeply influence the direction of his life and decisions he makes. Our hope is that some profound bonds will be made by the young men in this container. One that will live long past the 4 days they've spent together.
Death & Rebirth
The last piece of our initiation rite of passage experience is to bring the concept and the reality of death to the forefront of each initiate. As Don Juan shared with Carlos Castenada, "your death is always near". In life, all is passing and simultaneously being reborn. We take our young men through this journey that they may be birthed anew on a new path of interconnectedness, consciousness and an attunement to their souls calling. They see what parts of them have to die, in order for them to step more powerfully into the lives they want to create.
Ceremony & Celebration
After a full day of strenuous activities and practices the retreat culminates on Saturday night with an initiation ceremony and celebration.
Father & Son Bonding
The main intention of this 4 days/ 3 night initiation retreat is for the young men, the second intention is to bring fathers and sons closer together. It is to create a space where son’s can see their fathers as men just like them. It is to create a safe space to speak into what needs to be spoken to and for wounds to heal. Fathers and sons will be separated and come together at various point of the retreat for shared practices or meals.
* Stepfathers, grandfathers, uncles or any male influential figure in a young man's life are invited and are welcome to represent the father archetype.
References: Adapted from Richard Rohr, Adam’s Return: The Five Promises of Male Initiation (The Crossroad Publishing Company: 2004), 62-64, 66.
